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This hurts more than I thought it would
First time shame on you
Second time shame on us
Third time Shame on me

Stabbing pain inside me
But I can’t feel it
Because I’m dead inside

Fell from your grace
Eaten from the inside
Doomed to be forever lost
BUT I DON’T MIND
I DON’T MIND

Picking up the pieces
Of this fucking tragedy
Jigsaw in mid winter

TOSS THE PIECES AT THE WALL
EMPTY MOSAIC
TEARING AT MY SANITY
STARING EMPTY SOULESS EYES
WHY?
©2004-2009 ~smileanddie
:iconsmileanddie:

Author's Comments

.......you ask me to explain something even I don't understand.......pfft

Comments


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:icongloomsugarcookie:
Reminescent of Habnai Remnei
:iconfaith-y:
Omg thats beutifull(please excuse the creative spelling) and it is exactly how I'm feeling. wow it's very pretty.
:iconthecozmicfull:
holy hell that pic is great the wings are magnificent to the point that I am left in awe and the poem is great nicely done very fitting for the way I feal right now I thank you for your timeing in posteing this for it is wickedly uber fave this I must
:icont0adsins:
Not so bad. The all caps etc don't really do it for me, but the message is fairly potent. Well done on the focus in this piece, however the cliche' begining wasn't so amazing with the " shame on..." bit.

Anyways, this is one of your better works. Its short and has a message, and carries it over with out half the bullshit teenage-angst that fills the toilets of DA 90% of the time....don't get me wrong, this is still teenage-angsty. ;)

Good job.

--
-toddbailey
:iconsmileanddie:
awww I love you too to toadums

--
Inspiration is like a vernal disease… It stings burns and itches for four months and then disappears…wait that’s herpes….they have medicine for that.
:iconpoetatdelphi:
very dramatic ending, i love it.
:iconwiddlecat:
Personally, I wish the beginning were stronger as the conclusion is nice. I liked the caps, but that's my preference probably stemming from what I'm listening to music-wise these days. This poem has an interesting tempo that draws you to the end. That final " why?" becoming all the more poignant.
:icontornpages:
Nice =D

--
Another page Torn...:raincloud:
:iconnitzky:
I found that i really enjoyed the middle 3 stanzas of the poem... the first just a little bit cliche, and while i liked the final stanza i found the all caps to take away from the meaning rather then add to it. The pic I found to be simply beautiful and I felt that it really added to the poem. Good Job =)

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January 19, 2004
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